Peregrinus Domini

The liturgical season of Advent is a time of preparation for the Advent of the Lord, a celebration of His first Coming and an anticipation of his Second. It is fitting that in this moment, in this time at the heart of this foreshadowing of the apocalypsis, we take a moment to reflect upon our place as pilgrims - Peregrinus Domini - the pilgrim of the Lord. The Church is a pilgrim, traveling on the way of salvation, journeying to that final judgment with faith in her Creator and Founder. Christian individuals experience mixed feelings; the call to cry with the Apostle "marana tha!" - "Come, Lord Jesus!" (cf. 1 Corinthians 16:22) - as well as the sensation of trepidation over the coming judgment of God. He returns as a judge.

I have been thinking lately, the past few months, about my place in the world and what it is I am called to do. I have had a conflict brewing in my heart for quite a while. Some people tell me I am good with words and have a knack for explaining complicated things in simple terms. They say I have a deep understanding of sacred theology and am able to explain things to those who do not.

Yet all too familiar am I with arrogance, that destroyer of great minds and conqueror of the hearts of theologians. I read this week the words of our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI to theologians and my attention was captured by this excerpt:

The Holy Father proposed that presumptuous theologians who study Scripture and certain scientists who study nature can be compared to the ancient scribes who told the Magi how to reach Bethlehem.

They are, he explained, "great specialists: They can say where the Messiah was born," but, "they do not feel they must go [to see him.]"

The news of the Messiah's birth "doesn't touch their lives; they keep a distance from it," the Pontiff said. "They can give information, but this information does not become formation for their lives."

So I must ask myself: if I were faced with news of the Messiah this Advent, would I go to see Him, or would I simply pontificate about Him, His Greatness, His Majesty, His Love, and fail to form a relationship with Him? What is lacking in my life this Advent? Will I, who have been given much, be judged the more harshly (cf. Luke 12:48)?

My instinct is to flee, to run from judgment, to run from the attention others give me for fear it will cause me to stumble, as it often has, but when I flee, others pursue. Perhaps my calling is to overcome this temptation as a theologian, to step forth on the path Christ has established for me, but keeping my head bowed in prayer. We are to pursue virtue, and it would be more virtuous to use my talents while simultaneously dodging the temptations to which I am prone (the devil so wants me to fall into the sin of pride that he tries to tell me from time to time that I am even smarter than he! That credit I will give him, but I pray I may do better with the little I have.)

If indeed I have been given talent for evangelizing, may I no longer bury my talent, lest I be judged a wicked and lazy servant. Nonetheless, I must acknowledge, to reject pride and the common temptation of intellectuals, that I am still on the journey. I must reject pride and presumption.

So I post to you, for you, as a pilgrim. I acknowledge that I am on the journey with you. I am not ahead of you. I have not "arrived." I am not the guide. I am merely a pilgrim, like you, and I look to the Lord to light the steps for my feet. May the Lord allow me to speak His word with both humility and courage. May He find me busy doing His work with all charity upon His arrival. If in so doing I may be of benefit to anyone who comes upon this blog, then so be it.

This Advent, I see that Christ is coming, perhaps not now, perhaps not for a thousand years, but He comes to us. May I come to meet Him this Christmas, following the star to the humble stable, where the only theologians were His Mother, who already had a deep relationship with Him, His adoptive father, who was called to have a deep relationship with Him, and the simple minds of shepherds, who, though lacking in theological training, recognized God in the most unexpected of places, and did what so many filled with the knowledge of theology fail to do: fall down in worship before their God to be filled with His love.

May God bless you all this Advent.

Marana tha!

Micah
Second Sunday of Advent